Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What a fucking waste of an outfit
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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