We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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