He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
