The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Alive.
So much puke
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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