And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I've blown a few things in my day
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
