Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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