i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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