I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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