a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
