well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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