how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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