My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
