how can u be prego again
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
