Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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