my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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