I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize