dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
