Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..

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(205): View more from Alabama

Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture

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(540): View more from Virginia

I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...

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(713): View more from Texas

Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat

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(671): View more from Guam

You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?

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(310): View more from California

That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering

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