i jhust puked up my retainher.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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