This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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