doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
