i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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