Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
