every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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