She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
