just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
