as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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