If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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