"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize