operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
