You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
