VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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