i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
