is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
