So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
