Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize