i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
