I'm gonna have a badass scar
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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