Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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