he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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