Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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