went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
two words...techno handjob
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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