I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize