Whod you bang
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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