I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
