Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
