So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
