i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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