If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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