Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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