There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
