did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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