dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
