I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize