i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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