That's when you crack a 10am beer
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
