And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
