so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
