you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
