All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
