Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
