2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
