I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
