But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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