Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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