I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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